Wounded Beauty


The beautiful woman who doesn’t know she’s beautiful.
The ugly duckling has stayed with her…
No matter how many people tell her she’s beautiful, no matter how many homecoming queen’s, prom queen’s, no matter how many modeling jobs she booked…just from her light and her looks…she’s still wounded.
Wounded and starving for the love an attention she didn’t get from her father.
Although he loves her very much, he set her aside when her brother was born. And from that she became quite discipline, quite self-sufficient. That in her mind, she never would need the help from any man ever. In her mind she needed to prove how amazing she was…and boy did she; ended up on magazines, billboards, commercials, her face was everywhere…and then nowhere…so who is she really. Who is she now?
She longs to know who she really is? She’s so tired of proving herself…
Logic and discipline got her so very far. Being the sweet girl got her so very far. But who is she?
She is dying for the next phase in her life…She is dying for authenticity, for truth, for realness…and she knows she possess it. Yet she doubts. She doubts herself. She trusts not many, and sometimes not even herself. For she knows she is capable of real ANGER…real RAGE…real HURT…and she’s afraid those sides will come out and be uncontrollable…She’s afraid.
Yet, her spiritual path is true and full. Her spiritual life very advanced and growing…
All she wants is to rest, to play, to have fun and enjoy life.
She’s had it all figured it out…for so long…logically…her release is in her silliness…but now she just wants to be herself…100% of the time…and yet can she relinquish the control…Can she let go fully and let the “muse”, her spirit guide her.
She hopes so with all her heart. She hopes so with all that is within her. She hopes she can finally trust herself enough to allow herself to be herself…she hopes she can trust herself enough to allow her light to truly shine brightly in this world.
She has already shown snippets of her light…it excites her and frightens her…how amazingly great she is. Sometimes she runs away from it. Sometimes she lessens her financial abilities to keep her in safe spaces…yet it takes away from her trueness, her uniqueness, her beauty.
So is she beautiful. No one else can tell her…she’s heard it so many times. Is she beautiful….truly beautiful…only if she believes it. The question is, does she?
TBali™-Live Your Beauty
all original material copyright ©2016

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 22, 2011 at 8:29 PM

    Tamara you write so beautifully! I can totally relate to all of your thoughts that you've chosen to share with us all. You are the Swan that we all wish to be. Much love...Tammy McGarity

    ReplyDelete

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